You know how in loads of inspirational quotes there’s always “bad times make for thicker skin” or how bad experience made you a better person because you learned from it.
I think that’s bullshit.
Having people putting you down, humiliate you or just generally acting like you don’t exist is one of the the worst things to happen to a person. How should you ever learn from that? How is being picked on a valuable life lesson? It won’t make you more happy, it won’t give you fulfillment in life, it will not make you be able to do better. It will teach you that people are shit. It will show you that trusting someone will backfire. It’ll have an impact on your personality as well as the people surrounding you.
I believe you do NOT become a better person when people are harsh, rude or mean to you. It will NOT make you work harder and it will NOT enrich your life.
If you are a person that’s been through hell and back (and I like to add that hell has a different meaning to everyone) and you ARE grateful, I admire you. That’s the strongest you can be, really, but I don’t want that.
I don’t want to be strong. I want to be fine the way I am, the way I was. Saying it was all a life lesson is what people say to comfort you, but I wish I could only learn the nice ones. I wish to learn lessons like “Oh Italy was gorgeous!” or “Cream puffs really are the best” or “This restaurant has the greatest croissants ever”. I wish I didn’t have to learn things the hard way, I wish I wasn’t let down by false expectations or facades people put up. I am not weak. I just want(ed) something else.
When that saying is used, I think it’s usually in the context of going through a challenge you have to overcome (ex: working full-time + going to school) or sacrificing something to meet some kind of desired result (ex: making your own meals instead of going out to eat all the time so you can save). In that sense, I think the saying holds true.
When it comes to things like bullying or harassment, I agree there is nothing good that can come out it.
Especially if you don’t have the positive reinforcement from family and friends to offset it.
You can make the argument whether or not they’re necessary experiences (I think to a certain degree it’s necessary to experience disappointment or an understanding that not everyone in the world is going to like you) but yeah. Depends what your bad experience is, really.